it's been twenty-odd days since i've blogged, and somehow it's showing in my increasing inability to express myself. the things i want to say, i spend extra time searching my brain for the right word. worse, sometimes i forget what i want to say while trying to find the word.

i think i'm slowly degenerating into a monkey.

though of course, i don't believe in evolution, and refuse to belief that once upon a time, my ancestor was a monkey. i am positive that in my ancestral line lies intelligent humans who have passed on their genes to, well, me. AHEM.

i owe some of my brain-degeneration (thereafter known as BD) to lack of sleep, of course. no, i haven't been spending my days fantasizing about the almost-naked men in Apocalypto, which, incidentally, was a pretty good show. i told my colleagues just now that the biggest liar has got to be geri halliwell. she sang the song 'it's raining men' and we waited with huge buckets to contain them and nothing close fell from the sky. cheat.

i did, however, have a pretty good time at our event, known as CAN! DISCOVER, which was held over the weekend at *SCAPE Youth Park. which brings to mind that exactly a week ago from today, we were having office madness doing some last-minute stuff before the event-day, such as..........i can't remember. but i do recall having the printer jam at me at 1230am (yes, i was still in office, along with my comrades), and reaching home to a sufficiently angry mum who says that i'm only an intern and should put in effort proportional to my pay. alright she didn't say that exactly, but the idea's there.

my blobby was in the papers once again, on monday, and that made me quite happy. it also pleased me to see participants wearing the shirt i designed, smiling and taking photos with our blobby mascot, and my colleagues oohing and aahing at the collaterals we slaved away doing. yes, it was good. but all glory to God, of course, for my brilliance had to come from somewhere. okay, i boast. i take that back. God had graciously blessed our event, and i am really, really grateful. somehow, when other colleagues patted my back to say "well done!", i feel that i haven't done much. still, it warmed my heart to see so many smiles that day.

and there was my birthday, a few days before the event (oh, it was 6 days. i can't even remember!). it was a toned down one, but it's alright, i'm not complaining. i didn't get cake-smashed this year, which is already quite an achievement. no sabos somemore. i guess when you're 22 you have lazier/more mature friends who don't bother. BUT. not me. i can't wait for someone else's birthday on which we can have a jolly sabo session. -evil laugh-

i am not evil.

been thinking alot about conversations. the ones we have with those around us (why, of course right. what am i saying). it's always nice talking to the cleaning lady, Santhi ("you can call me Santhi, auntie, sister also can. mummy also can. hahaha"), and i had a first non-hello conversation with the lady security guard yesterday evening. it started with a "bye, how are you?" from her, which made me take a few steps back to have a chat with her. and i realise how, these people who work hard all day, need conversations to keep them going, everyday. we are often miserly with our words, saying only a hello and a bye, where it would certainly brighten their day to say abit more, like "how are you?" or "have you had your lunch?" or "tired?". was it hawthorne who had a theory about how when we show that we care, no matter whether the actions we take are useful in helping the others in their work, it motivates them to work harder. it's not just a one-way thing; i believe the effects are two-way. like, i feel happier right after talking to these people, though i'm not sure i know why. haha.

and, to top off my Thinking Days (don't ask me why, i've just been pondering alot these days. i think it's due to the fact that i have less things to kancheong about, since the event was just over 6 days ago), i gave some time to mulling over God's timing in things. i think in our hurry to achieve certain things in life, we often get frustrated when things do not come our way. like, Mr or Miss Right. like, The Grand Opportunity. like, children. and like so many other things we hope for and are made to wait. and wait. Abraham and Sarah waited for so very long before their son Isaac came along. what do you see when you read that sentence? you should see "came along". the truth is, their son DID come along. they waited very long, yes, but God's promise was fulfilled. His promise came to be, and His plan held. and that is the hope we have, the basis of which is faith, in God.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28.

let's keep the faith, shall we.